My Fantastic Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone! I know I had a great one. Yesterday morning my bro Rikishi told me that, because I had been a very good boy, he had a special treat for me. I got so excited I almost peed my Powerpuff Girls footie pajamas. "What is it?" I squealed. Rikishi refused to say. Except that we had to go somewhere to experience my special treat. Long story short, it turned out my bro had arranged for me to f*ck a turkey.

"Wow, really?" I asked. "Yes", Rikishi confirmed. Rikishi decided to go first. The farmer brought out a large turkey. It struggled and gobbled. The farmer used a clippers to cut off the turkey's feet and beak. It squawked in pain and both Rikishi and I laughed. Then the farmer presented the turkey to my bro ass first and pointed to where he should insert his wiener.

Well, Rikishi went to town on the turkey, thrusting his large hot dog into the struggling turkey over and over. Finally he released his white gr@vy and the turkey died. Little Mystere was standing at full attention. I couldn't wait to have a go at my own turkey.

So, the farmer presented a turkey to me and I took out little Mystere. I inserted it, but the turkey didn't seem to take much note. I thrusted for awhile and eventually spurted my white gr@vy. I let the turkey go and it dropped to the ground where it started flopping around. "Usually they're dead at this point" the farmer said. He grabbed an ax and swiftly chopped off the turkey's head. "Obviously your wiener was too small to do the turkey much damage. Internally, I mean" the farmer remarked rudely.

"How dare you insult my bro" an angry Rikishi remarked. I stuffed little Mystere back inside my pants, embarrassed. Rikishi punched the farmer in his jaw and he fell like a sack of potatoes. "Hahahaha" I laughed. The farmer was out cold, so Rikishi grabbed his wallet and took back the money he had previously paid him.

With Rikishi behind the wheel, we drove away in the pinkie-toot-toot (my pink Chevy). Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I saw the farmer's teenage son run into the driveway. He hefted up a shotgun and started blasting. Fortunately we (nor the pinkie toot-toot) were hit. I turned around and raised my middle finger, laughing. Like I said, it was a GREAT day!



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.