My Fantastic Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone! I know I had a great one. Yesterday morning my bro Rikishi told me that, because I had been a very good boy, he had a special treat for me. I got so excited I almost peed my Powerpuff Girls footie pajamas. "What is it?" I squealed. Rikishi refused to say. Except that we had to go somewhere to experience my special treat. Long story short, it turned out my bro had arranged for me to f*ck a turkey.

"Wow, really?" I asked. "Yes", Rikishi confirmed. Rikishi decided to go first. The farmer brought out a large turkey. It struggled and gobbled. The farmer used a clippers to cut off the turkey's feet and beak. It squawked in pain and both Rikishi and I laughed. Then the farmer presented the turkey to my bro ass first and pointed to where he should insert his wiener.

Well, Rikishi went to town on the turkey, thrusting his large hot dog into the struggling turkey over and over. Finally he released his white gr@vy and the turkey died. Little Mystere was standing at full attention. I couldn't wait to have a go at my own turkey.

So, the farmer presented a turkey to me and I took out little Mystere. I inserted it, but the turkey didn't seem to take much note. I thrusted for awhile and eventually spurted my white gr@vy. I let the turkey go and it dropped to the ground where it started flopping around. "Usually they're dead at this point" the farmer said. He grabbed an ax and swiftly chopped off the turkey's head. "Obviously your wiener was too small to do the turkey much damage. Internally, I mean" the farmer remarked rudely.

"How dare you insult my bro" an angry Rikishi remarked. I stuffed little Mystere back inside my pants, embarrassed. Rikishi punched the farmer in his jaw and he fell like a sack of potatoes. "Hahahaha" I laughed. The farmer was out cold, so Rikishi grabbed his wallet and took back the money he had previously paid him.

With Rikishi behind the wheel, we drove away in the pinkie-toot-toot (my pink Chevy). Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I saw the farmer's teenage son run into the driveway. He hefted up a shotgun and started blasting. Fortunately we (nor the pinkie toot-toot) were hit. I turned around and raised my middle finger, laughing. Like I said, it was a GREAT day!



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

One Of The Best Experiences Of My Life!

I haven't told this story before, but a few years back (before China attacked us with their genetically engineered WuFlu) I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Cypress. Suddenly an unmarked van pulled up beside me and a half dozen large male j!gs jumped out. Before I knew it one of them threw a bag over my head and hustled me into the back of the van.

Awhile later I awoke (I must have blacked out) and I found myself in what looked like an abandoned factory. For the next few days each of the hulking j!gs had their way with me (sexu@lly). My @nus and throat hurt so much after hours and hours of sexu@l abuse at the hands of my tormentors. For weeks after I couldn't poop or eat without soreness. Yet I'd say it was totally worth it.

Which isn't to say I didn't call the police. But the cops (for some reason) didn't believe me. Just because the j!gs forced me to scarf a bunch of shrooms and smoke a ton of pot. According to the police I suffered a "drug induced delusion".

Below is a drawing of one of my attackers. I described what the j!g looked like to a police sketch artist and this is what the person drew. That was prior to them kicking me out of the police station. I grabbed the drawing as a very rude officer grabbed my arm and forced me to leave. "You're lucky I'm too busy at the time to charge you with filing a false police report" Officer @sswipe remarked as he shoved me toward the door.

From time to time I will take out this pic and use it to w@ck off. Good memories. Excepting that rude officer. I should have pressed charges against him! I think he might have been an anti-asian racist.



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

Mystere's Farting Safari!

Farting Safari
Let's go fartin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with Mystere
Late in the evening we'll be startin' out
Some gassy greasers will be coming along
We're loading up the pinky toot toot With our beans inside
And headin' out singing our song
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Come along baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
At Orange County and malibu
They're shooting the outhouse
At rincon they're taking dumps
We're going on safari to the outhouse this year
So if you're coming get ready to go
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
They're blowing toots in laguna in Cerro Azul
They're kicking out in dohini too
I tell you farting's a mighty wind
It's getting bigger every day
From Hawaii to the shores of Peru
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Come along baby wait and see (fartin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with)
With me
fartin' safari
fartin' safari
fartin' safari
fartin' safari...



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

Donald Trump's Sexy YMCA Dance Makes Me Horny!

https://youtu.be/Ts57B3mekxs

Hubba-bubba! Check out this hunky twink twerking around! Hubba-bubba yum yum! I want him twerking in my face!! I'm hungry for his butt cheese and white gravy! Hubba-bubba nom-nom! Hubba-bubba nom-nom!

Hey Guys! Check Out This Sexy Thong Video!

Click the image and you will be redirected to YouTube.

I could cut and paste the embed code, but this video would only show up as a link because it's age restricted. Which means, guys, if you want to watch it you have to go to YouTube. Which I highly recommend doing. This video is so sexy I had to pleasure myself several times before it ended! Hubba bubba!

https://youtu.be/M2iWJxs_J4c

Meanwhile I am able to post this video directly to my blog.



In the video above hot sluts dance in their nighties. Disgusting! They extend their arms to the ceiling while arching their backs. "Look at my boobies" I can imagine them saying. No doubt these hussies anger God. Temping straight dudes like myself to m@sturb@te while watching them shimmy and gyrate. They should be ashamed.



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

Hippopotamus Shart Video Compilation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwNi6kE__Mw


You might say this is gross, but I say it's awesome! My bro Rikishi was walking around the house nude yesterday. He had just gotten up for the day and showered. I woke up as he squatted and farted in my face. I rewarded him with a wet smooch directly on his butthole. If only it had been a yummy shart!

World Record Holder

So I recently took a job acting in a g@y pornography film. Over one hundred men lined up to be or@lly pleasured by yours truly. But this does NOT mean I am g@y. I am a 100% straight man. What I was interested in accomplishing was breaking the world record for most white gr@vy consumed during one g@ng bang. Which I did (break the record). Confirmed by a stomach pump performed after I finished servicing all the other actors. 2.1 pints! Hurray for me! Other world records I am interested in breaking are the longest poo (12 foot, 2 inches) and most prolonged f@rt (2 minutes 42 seconds). That last one I believe I will be able to break easily (and actually I should have gone for this one first). https://www.angelfire.com/wa3/mud/WorldRecords.html



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

The Yummy Tuna Sub

Have you ever had explosive diarrhea? I've been on the toilet for several hours now with a nasty case of the Hershey squirts. This might be fun, except for the fact that my tummy hurts bigly. I think it all started when I found that sandwich in the park earlier today. A yummy subway tuna sub, sitting right there on top of the trash. How could I resist? Even though it was pretty hot (from baking in the sun, I presume) and the mayo tasted a little tangy. It only had a couple of bites out of it though. I couldn't resist, so I wolfed it down. Maybe I got food poisoning?



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

Bud Bundy Is My Sex Slave!

My life just keeps getting better and betterer. I just received my custom made Bud Bundy sex doll. Paid for (in part) with my Covid stimulus money (thank you, fake president Joe Bidet). My bro Rikishi and I are going to have a lot of fun tonight boinking Bud and getting boinked by Bud. Bud Bundy = hubba hubba!

https://www.myrobotdoll.com/collections/create-your-sex-doll/products/create-your-customized-male-sex-doll

https://www.amazon.com/David-Faustino-Bundy-Signed-Rubber/dp/B00R0JE7RG

A Master At Playing The Rusty Trombone

Like I always say, the haters inevitably get super jelly when they find out I'm a master at playing the rusty trombone. I can play the rusty trombone all day and night. Which I often do. Much to my bro Rikishi's delight. BTW, if that ruffles your tail feathers... you can bite me!



Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.

I Love White Gravy

Like I always say, if you gently squeeze the grapenuts while deep thr0ating the sausage, you'll be rewarded with some delicious white gravy. So tasty!