Also I also love turds. They are so tasty!
Saturday, April 1, 2023
Welcome To Cleveland Foxturds, The Most Awesome Blog Ever!
Greetings, and welcome to my new blog, "Cleveland Foxturds". I love the X personality and podcaster, Phillip Buchannon aka Catturd. I arrived at this blog name by combining the name of my WordPress blog Cleveland Foxers with the name of my favorite pro-Trump personality, Catturd.
Also I also love turds. They are so tasty!
Also I also love turds. They are so tasty!
Monday, August 1, 2022
So It Looks Like I Caught The MonkeyPox!
My bro Rikishi is cross with me because I caught Monkeypox and then gave it to him. We were rubbing our naked bodies together (as bros do) and after that he broke out in blisters that then crusted over.
Rikishi saw a rash on my ass before he started reaming my b-hole with his hotdog and asked "is this Monkeypox?", but I lied and said no. Actually, I thought it might be, but I wasn't sure.
I have no idea how I got it. Maybe that dude in the male strip club who gave me a lap dance? Maybe that homeless guy I gave a BJ to in the alley behind the Kroger on Ball Road? Or it's possible I caught it from my old NAMBLA buddy Dick Peyronie. We met up last week and shared between us his new boy. Really, I'm not sure.
Friday, July 22, 2022
Awesome Congressman Madison Cawthorn Smeared By RINO PAC Losses His Seat!
Madison Cawthorn lost his seat due to lies about innocent pics and videos put out to smear him by a RINO political PAC. So (for shits and giggles) he dressed in women's underwear. So what? So a male staffer grabbed his hotdog as a funny prank. So what? So Madison thrust his nude torso into the face of his male cousin? So what? How does two bros goofing around and being silly make them "gay" or "bi-sexual"? Sickos leapt to conclusions based on their own perversions.
Perhaps Madison's male staffer (after the video cut off) unzipped Madison's pants and gave him a handy. Perhaps Madison's male cousin opened his mouth and sucked in Madison's hotdog (after the video cut off) because he was thirsty for some white gravy. Again, I say SO WHAT?! These are things straight bros do. Trust me. I know. I do all these things and more with my bro Rikishi.
It isn't "gay" when me and my bro (both fully nude) wrestle, 69 each other, or thrust our hotdogs up each other's endos. It's two cool straight dudes goofing around, being silly and having fun. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is certainly not "gay". Faggotry is a sin in God's eyes. I'm not a fag and don't engage in faggotry. I am a straight Christian dude who follows God's commandment not to lie with a man as a man lies with a woman!
Friday, May 27, 2022
The Hilarious M@ss Sh00tings Of Sch00l Children
I am strongly opposed to butchering babies in the womb, but if they're butchered after leaving the womb I could care less. I'm talking about kids in classrooms getting mowed down by shooters wielding AR-15s. Supposedly the murdered kids' bodies were so torn up by bullets they had to use DNA to identify them. LOL!
Sorry libt@rds, but I am a 2nd amendment absolutist! What is super funny is when libt@rds cry and say the 2nd amendment should be repealed, the arms manufacturers sell more guns! That 21 kids were murdeЯed in a school shooting is the price of freedom, libt@rds! I don't care if dozens of k!ds are slaughteЯed in schools every day of the week, there can be NO Яestrictions on the 2nd amendment. In fact, we need to make it easier for people to buy guns, including mentally ill people. That is what president D0nald TЯump did.
EVERY0NE should be aЯmed. Then mentally ill people will think twice before deciding to mass muЯder people. Until then, however, I only laugh when sch00l k!ds are slaughteЯed. You will never change my mind. I love the 2nd amendment and I love the NЯA!
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
Sorry libt@rds, but I am a 2nd amendment absolutist! What is super funny is when libt@rds cry and say the 2nd amendment should be repealed, the arms manufacturers sell more guns! That 21 kids were murdeЯed in a school shooting is the price of freedom, libt@rds! I don't care if dozens of k!ds are slaughteЯed in schools every day of the week, there can be NO Яestrictions on the 2nd amendment. In fact, we need to make it easier for people to buy guns, including mentally ill people. That is what president D0nald TЯump did.
EVERY0NE should be aЯmed. Then mentally ill people will think twice before deciding to mass muЯder people. Until then, however, I only laugh when sch00l k!ds are slaughteЯed. You will never change my mind. I love the 2nd amendment and I love the NЯA!
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
Friday, November 26, 2021
My Fantastic Thanksgiving
Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone! I know I had a great one. Yesterday morning my bro Rikishi told me that, because I had been a very good boy, he had a special treat for me. I got so excited I almost peed my Powerpuff Girls footie pajamas. "What is it?" I squealed. Rikishi refused to say. Except that we had to go somewhere to experience my special treat. Long story short, it turned out my bro had arranged for me to f*ck a turkey.
"Wow, really?" I asked. "Yes", Rikishi confirmed. Rikishi decided to go first. The farmer brought out a large turkey. It struggled and gobbled. The farmer used a clippers to cut off the turkey's feet and beak. It squawked in pain and both Rikishi and I laughed. Then the farmer presented the turkey to my bro ass first and pointed to where he should insert his wiener.
Well, Rikishi went to town on the turkey, thrusting his large hot dog into the struggling turkey over and over. Finally he released his white gr@vy and the turkey died. Little Mystere was standing at full attention. I couldn't wait to have a go at my own turkey.
So, the farmer presented a turkey to me and I took out little Mystere. I inserted it, but the turkey didn't seem to take much note. I thrusted for awhile and eventually spurted my white gr@vy. I let the turkey go and it dropped to the ground where it started flopping around. "Usually they're dead at this point" the farmer said. He grabbed an ax and swiftly chopped off the turkey's head. "Obviously your wiener was too small to do the turkey much damage. Internally, I mean" the farmer remarked rudely.
"How dare you insult my bro" an angry Rikishi remarked. I stuffed little Mystere back inside my pants, embarrassed. Rikishi punched the farmer in his jaw and he fell like a sack of potatoes. "Hahahaha" I laughed. The farmer was out cold, so Rikishi grabbed his wallet and took back the money he had previously paid him.
With Rikishi behind the wheel, we drove away in the pinkie-toot-toot (my pink Chevy). Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I saw the farmer's teenage son run into the driveway. He hefted up a shotgun and started blasting. Fortunately we (nor the pinkie toot-toot) were hit. I turned around and raised my middle finger, laughing. Like I said, it was a GREAT day!
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
"Wow, really?" I asked. "Yes", Rikishi confirmed. Rikishi decided to go first. The farmer brought out a large turkey. It struggled and gobbled. The farmer used a clippers to cut off the turkey's feet and beak. It squawked in pain and both Rikishi and I laughed. Then the farmer presented the turkey to my bro ass first and pointed to where he should insert his wiener.
Well, Rikishi went to town on the turkey, thrusting his large hot dog into the struggling turkey over and over. Finally he released his white gr@vy and the turkey died. Little Mystere was standing at full attention. I couldn't wait to have a go at my own turkey.
So, the farmer presented a turkey to me and I took out little Mystere. I inserted it, but the turkey didn't seem to take much note. I thrusted for awhile and eventually spurted my white gr@vy. I let the turkey go and it dropped to the ground where it started flopping around. "Usually they're dead at this point" the farmer said. He grabbed an ax and swiftly chopped off the turkey's head. "Obviously your wiener was too small to do the turkey much damage. Internally, I mean" the farmer remarked rudely.
"How dare you insult my bro" an angry Rikishi remarked. I stuffed little Mystere back inside my pants, embarrassed. Rikishi punched the farmer in his jaw and he fell like a sack of potatoes. "Hahahaha" I laughed. The farmer was out cold, so Rikishi grabbed his wallet and took back the money he had previously paid him.
With Rikishi behind the wheel, we drove away in the pinkie-toot-toot (my pink Chevy). Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I saw the farmer's teenage son run into the driveway. He hefted up a shotgun and started blasting. Fortunately we (nor the pinkie toot-toot) were hit. I turned around and raised my middle finger, laughing. Like I said, it was a GREAT day!
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
Sunday, November 14, 2021
One Of The Best Experiences Of My Life!
I haven't told this story before, but a few years back (before China attacked us with their genetically engineered WuFlu) I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Cypress. Suddenly an unmarked van pulled up beside me and a half dozen large male j!gs jumped out. Before I knew it one of them threw a bag over my head and hustled me into the back of the van.
Awhile later I awoke (I must have blacked out) and I found myself in what looked like an abandoned factory. For the next few days each of the hulking j!gs had their way with me (sexu@lly). My @nus and throat hurt so much after hours and hours of sexu@l abuse at the hands of my tormentors. For weeks after I couldn't poop or eat without soreness. Yet I'd say it was totally worth it.
Which isn't to say I didn't call the police. But the cops (for some reason) didn't believe me. Just because the j!gs forced me to scarf a bunch of shrooms and smoke a ton of pot. According to the police I suffered a "drug induced delusion".
Below is a drawing of one of my attackers. I described what the j!g looked like to a police sketch artist and this is what the person drew. That was prior to them kicking me out of the police station. I grabbed the drawing as a very rude officer grabbed my arm and forced me to leave. "You're lucky I'm too busy at the time to charge you with filing a false police report" Officer @sswipe remarked as he shoved me toward the door.
From time to time I will take out this pic and use it to w@ck off. Good memories. Excepting that rude officer. I should have pressed charges against him! I think he might have been an anti-asian racist.
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
Awhile later I awoke (I must have blacked out) and I found myself in what looked like an abandoned factory. For the next few days each of the hulking j!gs had their way with me (sexu@lly). My @nus and throat hurt so much after hours and hours of sexu@l abuse at the hands of my tormentors. For weeks after I couldn't poop or eat without soreness. Yet I'd say it was totally worth it.
Which isn't to say I didn't call the police. But the cops (for some reason) didn't believe me. Just because the j!gs forced me to scarf a bunch of shrooms and smoke a ton of pot. According to the police I suffered a "drug induced delusion".
Below is a drawing of one of my attackers. I described what the j!g looked like to a police sketch artist and this is what the person drew. That was prior to them kicking me out of the police station. I grabbed the drawing as a very rude officer grabbed my arm and forced me to leave. "You're lucky I'm too busy at the time to charge you with filing a false police report" Officer @sswipe remarked as he shoved me toward the door.
From time to time I will take out this pic and use it to w@ck off. Good memories. Excepting that rude officer. I should have pressed charges against him! I think he might have been an anti-asian racist.
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
Mystere's Farting Safari!
Farting Safari
Let's go fartin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with Mystere
Late in the evening we'll be startin' out
Some gassy greasers will be coming along
We're loading up the pinky toot toot With our beans inside
And headin' out singing our song
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Come along baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
At Orange County and malibu
They're shooting the outhouse
At rincon they're taking dumps
We're going on safari to the outhouse this year
So if you're coming get ready to go
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
They're blowing toots in laguna in Cerro Azul
They're kicking out in dohini too
I tell you farting's a mighty wind
It's getting bigger every day
From Hawaii to the shores of Peru
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Come along baby wait and see (fartin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with)
With me
fartin' safari
fartin' safari
fartin' safari
fartin' safari...
Note: I originally published this post on my blog at the URL iheartwhitegravy.blogspot.com, but that blog got taken down after Assface falsely reported it for a bogus T0S infraction. Luckily I had it backed up and can therefore republish it here, on my new blog. I changed the date to match the date I originally published it at my Wh!te Gr@vy blog.
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